"Do Your Personal best All the Time!"
“James must try and do his personal best all the time.”
This was the teacher’s evaluation comment of a child I recently evaluated.
As soon as I read the comment, I felt my blood pressure rise a bit. I don’t know about you, but I have yet to have a day in my life where I have done my “personal best all the time.”
I think I would settle for a few good hours of my personal best!
Once I started working with James it was was clear he was not someone who was going to be able to sustain his personal best for more than a brief activity or two. His issues were the ones often seen with kids who struggle in school. Low-level writing skills and a weak capacity to sustain his interest for tasks that he saw as too difficult were very clearly a part of his style.
For James, his weaknesses were continually undermining him and his motivation. He lacked skills that were needed to put forth the sustained effort that the teacher was seeking. I have been seeing a lot of James-style kids lately. These kids can’t work through their frustration, have great difficulty putting together a basic paragraph with any coherency, and are pretty disorganized.
I see these kids as having clogged fuel lines for many of the typical classroom activities.
What will unclog them? It’s hard to say.
I do know that a patient, supportive teacher can work wonders in helping a child become a bit unclogged. Once the child feels supported, there is often more emotional energy for trying to tackle more difficult tasks.
So, as we start this school year maybe we should watch those statements about, "doing your best all the time. “ Then you might start seeing more bursts of “personal best” throughout the day.
Tags: Parenting, Struggling children, Learning Disabilities
Comments
Well Said
Like this vignette. Thanks. Would like to run it on our site --www.mykidsupport.com with a link to your site. Something parents, too, need to hear.
doing your best
There's something about teachers and this sort of comment. I can remember times in grade school when I had almost all A's, but the teachers said I needed to work harder? Why?
Some of it is left-over Victorian nonsense, but I think on a larger scale, a lot of kids would try harder if they had teachers who tried harder.
clogged fuel lines
When a child is struggling and frustrated, or simply refusing to struggle, it's often because they are unsure of how to begin an assignment, much less how to complete it.
The best remedy I have found is to sit with the child and walk him through the procedure, whatever is required. I call this 'priming the pump'. I, the tutor, give my student as much help as he needs. I also help him practice correct spelling and an organized printing style as the work is being done, rather than having it come as corrections later.
If this is done in a friendly and encouraging way, the child relaxes a bit, his tension is reduced, and he can think more clearly. Once the child has caught on to what is needed and how to proceed, he may be ready to work more independently.
That said, I think many children are pushed to be independent learners before they are ready. Why not help the child? In helping, a parent, teacher, or tutor is modeling a pattern for work and demonstrating responsibility. Some extra help can work wonders.
Do Your Personal Best???
Uhg, teachers like this makes me sick. I have heard this from my daughter's teachers as well. I am also a preK teacher and an after school care teacher, and although I try my best all the time, I often come up short. There are days at work that all I can think about is the piling laundry at home and hardly focus because I am stressed about that. Kids are no different. Working with children is like unraveling an onion. Sometimes you're lucky if you find the cause of the issue in the first few layers but many times it's so deep and a combination of multiple issues. "Just if she could try a little harder..." also makes me blood boil... "She's seems lazy in class and depressed..." I have heard those as well. Look deeper people!!!! She is trying and yes she is depressed because you dont understand her and dont seem to be making an effort to. Often Teachers are too concerned about trying to make the child fit their mold. This is no way meets the needs of the child, "..in the best interest of the child..." falls on deaf ears doesn't it. It's all in the way YOU or WE think about education... how can we adapt a learning program to a child, to make them as successful as possible? This may be a consideration but not always a frame of mind for educators. It's not so much about doing your best but giving your best effort. Children will always be let down if they offer their "personal best" all the time. That's unrealistic. It is each and every parent's job requirement to be the advocate for their child, special needs or not. If something sounds "cookie-cutter" challenge it!
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