“How Do You Measure, Measure a Year”

 Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
 How do you measure, measure a year?
 In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
 In cups of coffee
 In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

 Lyrics from:  Seasons of Love from the play “Rent”

Here’s another measurement to ponder.  Research demonstrates that if you are a difficult child you will be yelled at or reprimanded 65 times a day on average. 

Well, I’m not very good in math, but I do know this, the yelling adds up.  If a child is reprimanded 65 times a day, that’s 23,725 in a year or 237,250 over a 10 year period. 

How’s that for developing self-esteem?

In Thomas Phelan’s book, “1-2-3 Magic,” he states, “the two biggest mistakes that parents and teachers make in dealing with children are:  too much talking and too much emotion.” 

The emotion he is referring to is anger.

Why do we yell so much? 

Is it working? 

Perhaps there are other alternatives.  Clear, direct, matter-of-fact communication can work wonders.  Such communication can save a parent a great deal of wasted energy.

Take, young Caitlin, age 9.  Caitlin always dawdles when her parents need to get out the door.  Her characteristic dawdling results in a great deal of yelling and screaming to get Caitlin moving in the right direction.

 Her mom decided to conserve her energy and not care so much.

“Caitlin, you can either get dressed and ready or we can miss the birthday party.  I will be sorry if we miss the party, but it’s up to you,” her mom stated.

That’s it.  Whether Caitlin gets dressed on time or misses the party does not matter.  Either way is ok.  No tension.  No yelling. 

No adding to the 23,725 ways of “measuring a year.”